Today, I’m doing a slightly different post to our usual fashion and beauty blogging; I’m planning on having a little rant and ponder. It’s not something that Claire and I usually get involved in (unless it’s when we argue about whether she likes metallic nail varnish or not…) but this is something I feel is close to my bosom and something that I feel must roam free.
So, body image, body confidence and self esteem…
I’m pretty sure ALL of us have had fat days and days where nothing seems to go right in the hair and makeup department. There are definitely days when I think ‘UGH, why does everything in my wardrobe make me look like an escaped circus elephant’. Sometimes it lasts just a day but I know there are lots of girls that suffer from long term low self esteem. I’m definitely not out to belittle that at all in this post – whether your body or self confidence issues are caused by pressure from the media, an abusive relationship or something equally as serious, low self esteem can be crippling and it’s not something to take lightly.
What I am out to have a little rant about is girls attacking each other for the way they look. Recently, a friend of mine said something along the lines of ‘I am SICK of seeing skinny girls, they piss me off’. At the time I didn’t say anything but it really got me thinking – why is it ok for us to hate someone for the way that they look just because we’re unhappy with the way that we look? I really don’t think that kind of attitude is helpful to anyone, especially not ourselves. Nobody likes a bitter person and putting other people down for the way they look is not going to make you feel ANY better about yourself in the long run.
What I’ve noticed a lot recently is hate towards slim girls especially. There’s the whole ‘real women have curves’ thing which is just silly; slim girls are not lesser people because they’re skinnier! And on the flip side, if you feel unhappy about your weight or are a bit overweight, it doesn’t make you less of a person either. It’s all about the way you present yourself and to be honest, weight or your looks don’t really come into it that much. People respond positively to a girl who is friendly, outgoing and just generally nice. Even the most beautiful person can have no mates if she treats people like shit (pardon)
Nobody is paying THAT much attention to you…
I’m a size 12 and the grand height of 5ft, so I am definitely not the slimmest gal in the erm…pot of girls?! I used to feel quite self conscious about what I looked like and for a long time, I refused to even go out anywhere with bare legs (it made for very hot summers, I assure you). I used to get massively green with envy on holiday when I saw girls with perfectly toned bikini bodies but at the end of the day I had to realise…no one cares about me that much. By which I mean, while I’m sat there on my sun lounger thinking everyone is staring at my pasty flab, everyone else is far more interested in their daiquiris and whether or not they remembered to put sun cream on their backs.
Do what makes you feel happy…
I’m a firm believer that self confidence comes from within. Remembering that you have friends who like you for you is a big part of this – they obviously like you for a reason so why shouldn’t you like you for a reason too? There’s nothing wrong with looking at yourself in the mirror and thinking ‘well, I have quite nice eyes and my hair is actually quite great’. It’s not about having an ego, it’s just about building yourself up a bit!
Saying that, there is absolutely nothing wrong with doing things to your appearance to make you feel comfortable and happy. Having good self esteem doesn’t mean you have to skip around in an anorak with unbrushed hair and no makeup (but if you want to do that, then go right ahead). If clipping in some hair extensions, slathering your face in makeup and wearing a pair of heels makes you feel confident, then you should just do it. I’ve had some people judge me in the past for the amount of makeup I wear or because I wear fake tan but to them I say WHO ARE YOU TO SAY WHAT I CAN AND CAN’T DO. I like the way I look with makeup and tan; it doesn’t mean I’m hiding behind a mask of St Moriz and Rimmel – it’s just what makes me feel comfortable.
I also think that if you truly are unhappy with the way you look, then do something about it. Just going to the gym regularly and eating a bit more fruit and veg can do wonders for how you look and feel. Cake is brilliant and I will always happily destroy a tub of ice cream, but nothing gives you a boost like feeling healthy. 🙂
Us gals have got to stick together…
We have GOT to stop being bitchy to each other about the way we look. At the risk of sounding like a hippy, we should all spread the love a bit more. That’s something I love about blogging especially, us bloggers are quick to let each other know if an outfit looks great or if someone is looking spiffing. That’s something I wish happened in real life a bit more. These days, instead of being envious of a girl, I try and think ‘wow, she’s got a great figure. Fair play to her, inspiration’. Let’s face it, we have to deal with so much on a daily basis – lets not fight each other too!