8 Ingredients for the Best Night Out Of Your Life (Probably)

claire 2At 25 years of age, I’ve now been going on nights out for EIGHT YEARS. Apart from just being a horrifying fact that makes me feel like a granny, what this really means is that by now I’ve sussed out the essentials needed for a good night out. I will point out that I nearly always have fun on nights out, mainly because my friends are heeee-larious and we could probably have a laugh in a skip if there was enough vodka and crisps, but there are of course some nights that are better than others. And, in my extensive experience, these are the nights that involve… View Full Post

No, I Don’t Have Have Any Tits: The Flat-Chested Girl’s Struggle

flat chest 2Hello you fine chicas. Today I’m here to talk to you about boobs, or in fact my lack thereof. I know I’m not alone inthe Itty Bitty Titty Club and so I’m hoping that this post might resonate with a few of my fellow small basooma owners.

You see, I basically barely developed in the boobage department. I am unashamedly a 32B, though I think that’s just a bit of a fluke as sans underwear I definitely look like I’m rocking an A cup. And this fact is genuinely something that has very rarely bothered me throughout my years as a flat chested adult; what has bothered me though is everyone else’s seeming problem with my lack of problem with it.

It seems to me that in today’s society, where we’re all meant to be so pro-body confidence and all about embracing our bodies as they are (insert more Gok Wan babble here), having a go at small boobs is the last thing that it’s still okay to do. We all seem to have learned that it’s rude to pick on a woman for her weight, yet it seems perfectly fine to sneer at girls who aren’t packing much in the old mammaries.  So many times I have heard snide comments about other people along the lines of ‘oh yeah she’s pretty… but she hasn’t got any boobs’ and I’ve even had so-called friends actually make comments to me before a night out such as ‘wow, you actually look like you have tits tonight’… as if that’s not completely rude?

I think it all stems from an idea that girls with small boobs, or girls who are generally slim, are not ‘real women’. On one night out while I was at uni, I was with my friend in the toilets. My friend was a good 5’10 in height and at a size 10-12 looked perfectly in proportion and healthy, yet was still bemoaning the fact that she used to be a size 8 and wanted to go on a diet. Some random girl then pops up out of nowhere and – probably thinking she’s being nice – starts berating my friend, telling her that she shouldn’t strive to be a size 8 because she’s a ‘real woman’ and ‘real women aren’t a size 8’. I was standing there in my size 6-8 Motel Rocks bodycon dress, listening to this girl basically telling me I wasn’t a real woman and thinking ‘oh right love, what am I then – a fucking seahorse?’

We seem as a society to have become so pro-curves that we’ve actually done a 180 and now made skinny or flatchested girls feel like they’re lacking as women. The idea that we could possibly be happy with ourselves in the same way that curvy girls are seems absurd. The amount of people I’ve had ask me if I’d ever have a boob job is actually quite shocking when you realise how rude it is. Now, my older sister had a boob job a couple of years ago (so I’m obviously not knocking them) and so when it’s people who know that who ask me it doesn’t offend me as much, as it seems more logical. But when it’s people who are just looking at me and assuming surely I must want a boob job, it’s downright offensive. You wouldn’t just walk up to someone with a big nose and say ‘Cor, don’t you fancy getting that schnozz sorted?’ or approach a bigger girl and ask whether she’s consider having her fat sucked out of her.

On the topics of boob jobs, like I’ve said I really don’t disagree with them. If you’re genuinely unhappy with your body then by all means make whatever changes you want. My only concern is when girls are having them done because of the opinions of others, especially men. I’ve seen a lot of women on TV state that their reason for a boob job was feeling unwomanly or inadequate with their partner – and I think that’s desperately sad. I know it’s rarely the boyf’s fault and they’re probably super nice people who tell their girlfriend she’s perfect as she is. But in those cases where a boyfriend is responsible for the girl feeling bad about herself, then I think it’s awful. Here is a fact: if he has a problem with your boobs, then HE is a boob and deserves to be sacked off immediately.

Sure, there are plenty of men out there who like bigger boobs. I know for sure that there are lads I’ve met who probably would have liked me more if I had bigger boobs. But is that a reason for me to go in search of bigger boobs? Er, no. I think the real key to body confidence, in regards to relationships and attraction anyway, is to accept that you’re never going to be everyone’s cup of tea. Some men simply won’t like you because you have small boobs/are bigger than a size 12/have a flat arse/are blonde/are brunette/have an extra thumb. And it’s really no criticism on them, as women are just as picky. I for one will refuse to date a boy who wears a gilet. Different strokes etc.

I could waffle on about this topic all day; I suppose  I have a lot to get off my chest – and I certainly have the room to do so (badumchhh). But my ultimate point (I know, it’s surprising that I have one after all that waffle) is that we should all just ACCEPT ONE ANOTHER and accept that WE ARE ALL REAL WOMEN. You got a vajayjay, you’re in the club regardless. So let’s stop trying to put girls down on any little thing we can think of and just get on with our own lives and shaking our own jelly.

What do you all think? Has anyone else in the Itty Bitty Titty Club encountered this kind of thing? Please let me know your thoughts in the comments below 🙂

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