Now, first of all I would like to state that we are not bitter about Valentines’ Day. We are not bitter. We’re not bitter. Not. Bitter. Okay? However, this happens to be the first Valentines Day in a couple of years where we both find ourselves single, and so the deluge of Valentines’ gift guides that are popping up everywhere are starting to make us want to gouge our eyes out. If you’re like us and also have a single BFF, then you may like our alternative Anti Valentines’ Day gift guide. Buy each other a couple of these and spend your day cackling with glee that you’re no longer dealing with the utter aggro of having a boyfriend.
1. Sassy emoji travel mug because you DON’T CARE (but love tea)
2. Broken heart cookie cutter, which you could also send to an ex who’s recently dumped you for maximum creep points
3. Ain’t No Wifey beanie, self explanatory
4. Pizza earrings because carbs over men for life
5. Ex-boyfriend voodoo doll, for those not totally over it…
6. Anti-loveheart phone case so if someone asks for your number you can just hold up your phone and slow blink at them til they walk away
7. Self Tan Back Applicator because let’s be honest, that is one of the only things boyfriends are good for
8. ‘At Least Your Pets Love You’ greeting card – a dog will never like another girl’s Instagram pictures
… You know we’re not bitter right?